


Soul Searching

by kungfunurse



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, Shiro just really loves his team, Space Dad, Spoilers, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 15:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7228723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kungfunurse/pseuds/kungfunurse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pidge creates a neuro-enhancer so that Shiro can more deeply connect with the Black Lion. In the process he sinks deeper into the lion’s consciousness and meets “ghosts” from the previous paladins.</p><p>ETA: I altered one of the encounters slightly to make Shiro's POV more reflective of his character. Let me know what you think!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul Searching

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings all! This contains spoilers for the episode "The Black Paladin". I fully expect to be Jossed when season 2 comes out, but if the powers that be read this fic and like the ideas, feel free to use!
> 
> *Disclaimer* I have no ownership over the Voltron characters and make no money from this story.

“Are you sure it will work?” Shiro asked. The wires dangled crazily from every corner of the Black Lion’s cockpit. He frowned up at Pidge as she taped yet another diode onto his head.

“Of course it will work. The neuro-enhancer that I’ve made will definitely strengthen your connection to your lion. The question you should be asking, is do you really want this to work?”

“We’ve been over this,” he replied patiently. “You know why this has to happen.”

“Zarkon,” Pidge muttered. She braided three more cables together and spliced their wires, then quickly attached them to another diode. 

“Actually,” Lance volunteered from behind them, “what you guys really ought to ask is can she get the lion working again after this. What a mess!”

“You’re not helping, idiot,” Keith said. He elbowed Lance in the ribs, making the Blue Lion’s Paladin flinch and trip over the cables coiled on the floor.

“Hey, cut it out you two, it’s really crowded in here!” Hunk hoisted Lance over a shoulder to keep him from ripping out the wires dangling from the ceiling, in the process knocking Keith in the head with a leg.

“What the hell was that for?” Keith yelled

“Will you all just go outside and wait?” Pidge snapped. “This is delicate work. If I do it wrong, I could fry his synapses.”

“That sounds bad. Is that bad?” Lance asked, still suspended butt-side up over the morass of electrical doom.

“Of course it’s bad, what do you think-“

“Keith, Lance, give it a rest.”

Quiet descended immediately in the cramped room. Shiro usually didn’t have to raise his voice to be heard. Even when they were so loud no one could reasonably expect to hear him, they always responded. He was proud of his team, proud of how much they cared about each other. Proud of how far they’d come in such a short time. 

Shiro had served in the Galaxy Patrol before he was selected to pilot the mission to Kerberos. He’d worked with some fine men and women in that time, but he wouldn’t trade his current team for any of them. It didn’t matter that they’d had no training, and not slightest idea what the word discipline meant. When the lions had called them, they’d answered with their hearts and minds, and now they were family. 

Pidge taped the last diode in place. “Shiro, you don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do. Zarkon was able to rip Voltron apart because his connection to the Black Lion is stronger than mine. I have to have a deeper connection, or it’s just going to happen again the next time we get close to him.”

Keith scuffed a foot against the floor and Lance squirmed unhappily over Hunk’s shoulder, but no one said anything.

“I guess that’s it then,” Pidge sighed. “I’ll be monitoring you from the Green Lion. Just… be careful.”

“Don’t worry everyone,” Shiro said, relaxing back into the control chair. “Hunk, go with Pidge to monitor the readings. Lance, you and Keith and go find some food for us, okay?”

“Me?” Lance yelped. “Why can’t Hunk go grubbing for those smelly worm things? I bet the natives left this planet because they couldn’t find a way to stop the worms from farting all the time!”

“You’re going because you’re not smart enough to read synaptic signatures,” Keith hissed, heading down the ramp.

“Oh yeah, and what does that say about you?” Lance yelled after him, still bouncing over Hunk’s shoulder.

Hunk turned at the top of the ramp. “Please be careful, Shiro. We know you need this, for a lot of reasons. But remember, we need you too.”

Shiro smiled, and he felt a little of the cold dread unclamp from his gut. Trust Hunk to see right through him, even when he was trying to be stoic. “You’re right, Hunk. Zarkon shook my confidence. Badly. I need to know if… if…”

“If you’re good enough to lead Voltron? You dolt.” Pidge smiled, and smacked him on the shoulder. “Hunk’s right. We need you. You’re the glue that keeps us together. Don’t go under for too long.” 

Shiro smiled again, then closed his eyes. One breath, then two, and he felt himself sinking deeper into the mental bond with his lion. Three, and the physical world was fading away. He felt more than heard Pidge and Hunk leaving. Four breaths and he could almost see out of the lion’s eyes, feel the ground under its claws and hear the waves crashing in its ears. 

He’d been this deep before, during the training exercises with Coran at the castle. That was only a few weeks ago, but it already felt like a lifetime.

He stopped counting his breaths and started listening for the lion. Sometimes it felt like a humming sensation at the back of his mind, reminding him of things that he shouldn’t forget. Sometimes he’d find himself looking over his shoulder, reacting to something he couldn’t possibly have heard or seen. And sometimes, like now, it felt like a deep, bass rumble that vibrated his very bones. 

Deeper. He needed to talk to the lion, to make it understand that Zarkon was its enemy.

But there was the rub, wasn’t it? Zarkon was the original Black Paladin. The lion’s first and strongest partner. The Black Lion honored strength, level-headed leadership, and the ability to command the respect of the team. Regardless of how evil Zarkon may have become, he was certainly the strongest, most commanding ruler in the known universe. How could Shiro possibly make the lion understand? How could he even start to compete?

He clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “No, I won’t give up. I won’t beat myself before Zarkon has the chance. I won’t give up!”

 _"That’s the way to do it. That’s what the lion likes to hear."_

“Who are you?” Shiro opened his eyes, but he didn’t see the cockpit, or anything but endless black, stretching into infinity all around him. He was floating in a sea of nothing. The cables attached to his head were gone. Everything was gone. 

“Hello? Can you hear me?” he called, as the endless nothing swallowed his words.

_"Not like that, kiddo. Like this."_

_"Hello?"_ Shiro tried, twisting around futilely in the inky void.

_"That’s right. You’re a quick study."_

_"Um, thanks."_ Shiro frowned, running his hand through his hair to cover his confusion. _"Have we met?"_

 _"Oh, not officially. I was the last one. The one before you."_ A thin, wispy curl of light began to form to Shiro’s left.

_"The last Black Paladin? You served under King Alfor?"_

_"Yes, over ten thousand years ago. When Zarkon came for us, I wanted to fight. But Alfor knew that Zarkon would take control of my lion. He forced me lock it up in the castle and sent the rest of my team away. I never saw them again. Enraged, I attacked Zarkon with only my bayard."_

The wisps of light continued to take shape, and now a tall, thin Altean man floated in front of Shiro. 

_"Allura told me that the Black Paladin’s bayard had been lost with him."_ Shiro thought he saw a shadowy wound across the old ghost’s chest.

_"The Princess? Yes, she was right. I’m afraid in my arrogance, I thought of nothing but my own loss. I left nothing for the Paladin who would come after me. In truth, I don’t think I could have stood the shame of turning over my lion to anyone."_

_"That… doesn’t sound like…"_

_"A true leader? Someone worthy of the Black Lion? My boy, we were soldiers, fighting for our lives and our world. Maybe there was someone out there better suited to the Black than I was. But after we’d lost so many, I was the one he finally called."_

_"Then you must have been worthy. You wouldn’t have been called otherwise,"_ Shiro reasoned, reaching out to the insubstantial man. 

_"But what if I was called out of desperation? Perhaps if there had been anyone else, anyone at all, it would never have chosen me?"_

_"No!"_ Shiro shook his head and slashed his hand through the darkness between them. _"If there hadn’t been anyone for the lion, then it never would have called at all. It chose you. You must see that."_

 _"Must I? "_ The ghost of the former Paladin smiled, ever so slightly. _"I suppose I must, since you put it like that."_

 _"Wait, what? You mean…"_ Shiro’s eyes widened. _"Oh."_

 _"Very good, young Paladin. You’re ready to go on."_ The old soldier faded away, leaving nothing but unbroken darkness behind.

 _"Go to where?"_ Shiro called, twisting again in the inky void.

 _"Deeper,"_ sighed the ghost.

 _"Deeper,"_ rumbled the great black nothing.

_Deeper._

*_*_*_*

“I thought we were supposed to eat them!” Lance yelled. He gripped Keith’s hands, and tried to pull harder. The slippery ground around the worm’s burrow made it impossible to get traction.

“It’s no good, you’re gonna pull my arms off!” Keith groaned. “You have to get to Hunk or Pidge.”

“I can’t let go,” Lance gritted. And it was true. Keith was already halfway buried in the sandworm’s bog, and sinking slowly even with Lance’s grip on him.

“We need earpieces like Allura has,” Keith ground out, trying to find some leverage to pull himself up the side of the burrow.

“If we knew where Allura and the castle were,” Lance grunted as he tried to pull again, “then we wouldn’t be out here grubbing for grubs in the first place!”

“That’s it, you have to let me go,” Keith decided.

“Oh, great idea, that’s exactly what we don’t want to do!”

“Lance, I mean it. Look at your feet!”

Both teens looked down. Lance was halfway up to his knees in the bog now, and every pull on Keith’s arms sunk him a little further.

“You have to let me go.”

“Oh no you don’t. I am NOT going to let you die all noble and self-sacrificing. Shiro would have a cow.”

“You can run for help. I’ll, like, spread my weight out. I shouldn’t sink too fast.”

“This isn’t the movies! You’re not in quicksand, it’s a worm hole! Not like, one that moves us through space, but an actual worm’s hole. You’ll fall right in.”

“Better one of us than both of us.”

Lance stared at him for a minute, as serious as Keith had ever seen him.

“I’m not leaving you. Do you hear me? That’s never going to happen.”

Keith looked down, now buried up to his chest in the dirt.

“We need help,” Keith muttered. 

“No kidding,” Lance retorted. 

A minute passed, then two.

“Thanks. For not leaving, I mean.”

Another minute of silence.

“Don’t mention it.”

Then, coming to a mutual decision, they both drew in a deep breath. “HELP!!” they yelled, their voices ringing out in tandem across the alien landscape.

*_*_*_*

Shiro closed his eyes against the unrelenting black and breathed. He was worthy of this journey. His team believed in him, and he would die before he let them down. Keith’s rare smiles, Lance’s unbreakable loyalty, Hunk’s open, loving heart, Pidge’s extraordinary mind… thoughts of them filled him and warmed him and carried him deeper.

Deeper.

 _"You'll never see them again."_

_"What?"_ Shiro frowned. 

He opened his eyes, and found that he was facing a mirror. He looked left, then right, then up. He was surrounded by a sphere of mirrors on all sides, his own reflection endlessly repeating. Grimly he eyed his reflection. He’d avoided mirrors since his escape from the Galra. His slanted eyes looked older than he remembered, too old for a 25 year-old man. His once black hair was shot through with white now, and the scar across his face was a painful reminder of his time in the gladiator ring. He flexed his hand, feeling the almost silent servos grind away. Not his only reminder.

 _"Hello, are you another Paladin?"_ he called. He turned away from himself, only to be assaulted by his reflection on all sides.

 _"No, you ignorant boy. I’m THE Paladin."_

In each mirror, behind his reflection, there was an indistinct form. Lurking. 

_"I’m the one they talked about. The one they remembered. They made songs about me, telling every potential candidate about THAT Paladin."_

_"I’m afraid Allura didn’t have time to give us much of a history lesson,"_ Shiro offered, cautiously choosing his words. _"If you’d be so kind-"_

 _"Princess Allura!"_ The reflected shadow spat. _"The end of a disgraced line of half-blooded usurpers. Alfor’s grandfather should never have been allowed near the throne!"_

_"There was a political coup?"_ Shiro guessed. The shadow was closer now, with the tell-tale Altean ears clearly silhouetted against its head. 

_"Nothing so trite. It was simpler, more insidious. A marriage into a great house. A child, who should never have been born. I tried to stop it, but they wouldn’t listen. None of them would listen to me!"_ The shadow raged, and now Shiro could make out a female face, twisted in anger. _"Altean and Galra blood were not meant to mix!"_

 _"Galra?"_ Shiro asked, appalled. The race that had captured him, tortured him, possibly killed his crew. Zarkon’s rule was spreading like a disease across the stars at the head of a bloodthirsty army of Galra. He clenched his cybernetic hand, feeling it come alive with cold fire.

 _"Precisely!"_ The shadow hissed. _"Every one of them was born with evil in their hearts. Their corrupt souls infected the royal house. I tried to kill the whelp, but they wouldn’t listen!"_

 _"Kill a child?"_ Shiro was shocked out of his anger. 

_"A Galra halfbreed! You know how evil they are. You’ve seen how they act without mercy!"_

But common sense was returning, and with it, compassion. _"Yes, the Galra have hurt me, have done horrible things to so many people. But I can’t believe that an entire race of people could be evil. There must be mothers, siblings, families that love each other."_

 _"You sound just like them. I tried to make them see, but they refused to listen!"_ A spiteful heat raked across his back like a whip.

Shiro flinched. He turned to look over his shoulder, but he was alone inside the mirrored prison.

_"Who wouldn’t listen?"_

_"The other Paladins. They turned against me!"_ The ghost seethed in rage, looming higher and closer over Shiro’s reflection. _"I lost them, and soon you’ll lose yours. You can’t fight against the Galra and win. No one can!"_

 _"No,"_ Shiro shook his head. _"I don’t know what happened in your time, but if you lost your team, it wasn’t because of the Galra."_

_"Fool!"_ The shadow shrieked. Its form began to distort, swirling around Shiro in a storm that cut at his skin. 

_"I’m not like you,"_ Shiro shouted, deafened by the storm. _"I won’t be consumed by my anger. You lost your team because you didn’t listen to them! YOU were infecting THEM with your hatred. You left them no choice!"_

A piercing shriek tore through his chest. It felt like a thousand years of grief and bitter loss, and Shiro screamed in pain. 

_“I love my team!”_ he gasped. _“My family! My fam-“_ he had no breath, couldn’t force any more words against the wind that filled his mouth and was tearing his body apart.

Then, in a voice that wasn’t his own, Shiro raised his head and recited: _"A leader’s highest honor is to serve the least of his followers."_

The wind was gone.

Shiro cupped his hands to the wound in his chest and saw a glowing ball cradled in his palms. The freezing ache in his heart warmed as the green, yellow, red, and blue orb pulsed cheerfully against the darkness.

 _"How are you doing this? Who taught you those words?"_ The shadow whispered, bitterness and longing clear in her voice.

_"I don’t know."_

Shiro straightened in his mirrored cage, and held out his burning palm. _"I think it’s time for me to go now."_ The mirror closest to him vibrated when the flames touched it, then shattered. Instantly the cage flew to pieces, and Shiro beheld a world so gloriously beautiful that it took his breath away. The golden light made the rolling hills sing with verdant life, and the rich blue waters moved and splashed with crystalline perfection. 

_"Remember,"_ the Paladin said, standing just behind Shiro’s shoulder. Her voice was bitter no longer, but leavened with centuries of hard-won wisdom. _"Learn from my mistakes. Everything we do, we do for them."_

 _"Yes,"_ Shiro agreed. _"For our family."_

*_*_*_*

“You two really need to stop screwing around,” Hunk grunted. He wrapped his hands tightly in the woven vines, set his heels, and pulled harder. “Shiro’s brainwaves are all over the place. Pidge needs me to help monitor all the psychoneurobiological fluxuations he’s experiencing.”

“Shut up and pull, Hunk!” Lance yelled. He was buried up to his chest, now, and Keith was almost entirely submerged in the burrow.

“Get… lion…” Keith gasped out, trying to keep his mouth clear of the dirt.

“You’re just lucky Pidge noticed how long you’d been gone,” Hunk continued, as though neither one had spoken. “It’s been almost eight hours you know.” He gave another huge heave, and slowly, reluctantly, the bog began to give way.

“That’s it! Keep it up!” Lance yelled. He had one hand wrapped in the makeshift rope, the other twisted in a death-grip on Keith’s shirt.

“You guys… are really… _heavy!”_ Hunk groaned. 

“I suppose we deserved that,” Keith muttered, holding on to Lance for dear life.

*_*_*_*

Shiro released the brightly colored ball of light into the air, and smiled as it whizzed in delighted circles. It buzzed around and behind and in arcs around Shiro so fast it made him dizzy, until it ran headlong into a tree. Shiro burst out laughing, and the ball seemed to flicker in sheepish laughter too.

Then it floated off to one side and bobbed a few times.

 _"I guess I’m supposed to follow you, huh?"_

Another bob, and Shiro set out after the light.

The dreamscape seemed to stretch on forever. Shiro guessed he could walk until the day he died and never cross the same path twice. The little ball seemed to know where it was heading, though, and Shiro gratefully followed its lead.

Up ahead, he saw a hill, and at the foot of the hill sat a woman. She was dressed in black, and her Altean ears held her hair back from her face. Behind her was a cave that let down in the depths of the earth.

 _"Hello,"_ Shiro offered. _"I’m looking for, well, I’m not really sure what I’m looking for. Have you seen a Black Lion around here?"_

The woman laughed, a warm, pleasant sound. _"The Black Lion is all around you, young Paladin. But I suspect you’re looking for its heart."_ She moved a hand to point to the cave. 

Shiro stepped forward, only to find himself immobilized as dozens of chains burst out of the ground to wrap around his legs and wrists.

 _"What are you doing?"_ he yelled, trying to break free. _"You don’t understand, I need to go in there. Why are you doing this?"_

She smiled sadly, and shook her head. _"Young Paladin, this is your doing, not mine."_

 _"I don’t understand,"_ Shiro grunted. He ignited his cybernetic arm. Maybe he could melt the chains?

_"You can’t free yourself from them, Paladin. Nothing can break them. This is what will happen to you if you go any further. They are forged from your Quintessence, and they will bind you for all time. There is only one way to be free."_

_"I’m listening,"_ Shiro said, eyeing her warily.

_"Entering the heart of the lion is a trap. It will chain you to it, and leave you a prisoner forever. But, if you turn back now, if you abandon your quest, only then will you be free."_

Shiro’s chest heaved as he pulled against the chains, but it was useless. He was well and truly trapped. Memories swam before his eyes, of his year imprisoned in a Galra slave ship. His heart hammered with fear and his hand blazed with energy. Never again. He’d die before he’d be a prisoner again.

 _"Who are you?"_ he demanded.

 _"I was the second Paladin to the Black Lion, the one that stole it away from Zarkon."_

_"How?"_ Shiro interrupted. _"That’s what I’ve come to learn, how to defeat his influence over the lion and protect the galaxy from him!"_

 _"Easier said than done, I’m afraid,"_ she shook her head. _"When I took the lion, thousands of years ago, he was only a fraction as strong as he is now."_

 _"I’ve had enough of this,"_ Shiro yelled. _"You were a great Paladin. You know how important my mission is. Why won’t you help me?"_

 _"I’m helping you to see reason. You see, all Paladins enter into a symbiotic relationship with our lions. We spend our Quintessence to fuel the lion’s consciousness. In return, we Paladins become greater than we could ever be alone."_

_"Wait,"_ Shiro frowned. _"Quintessence. Isn’t that what Zarkon is taking from other worlds to make himself so strong? Are you saying that our lions drain our souls?"_

 _"Yes, and no. When Zarkon steals it, it creates only loss and death. But know this. If you go into the heart of the lion, if you choose to spend your very soul in such a way, you won’t ever be able to retrieve it. Over the centuries there have been many Paladins. They were called to serve a life of honor. Afterwards, they were free to retire, to live with their families and end their time in peace."_

The ghost stood and walked over to Shiro. She gathered a handful of chains and used it to force him to his knees. 

_"If you enter the lion’s heart, that will never be an option for you. You’ll be bound to its needs and its mission for all your life. Your Quintessence, your soul, will fuse with the lion’s. Even when you die you’ll never be free."_

Shiro shuddered in his chains. He’d nearly lost his sanity after only one year as a prisoner. An eternity of imprisonment would an unbearable hell. But if he didn’t go forward, his team, the galaxy, everything would be lost.

 _"You don’t have to fight so hard,"_ the ghost said, smoothing his hair back from his face. _"Go home. Save your Quintessence for yourself."_

He looked up at the ghost, and realized how strong she must have been to win the Black Lion away from Zarkon. If he was even a fraction as powerful then as he was now, she must have been superbly dedicated. His team was counting on him to be equally as dedicated. He bowed his head, accepting the inevitable.

 _"Then I choose to forfeit my freedom."_ They were the hardest words he'd ever said. His lips were numb, and he closed his eyes against the reality of it. _"If it's true that the bonds of love and duty make chains for us, then we can choose to bear them lightly, and with honor. I choose... oh god. I choose to serve."_ Shiro's voice cracked, but he meant every word.

 _"Excellent!"_ She said. She released the chains and they dissolved like mist. _"We all spend our Quintessence in the service of something greater than ourselves. If you try to hoard it, it will suffocate and die inside you. But Quintessence, freely given, grows and makes both the giver and the receiver stronger. Rather like love._

Shiro stood and bowed to her, and she gravely bowed in return. _"Go forward, then, if you will. The final test is there."_

The spinning ball of light glowed uncertainly in front of the cave, and Shiro heaved a breath. He was clearly in over his head, but he wasn’t turning back now. 

Bracing himself for whatever might come next, he descended into the cave.

*_*_*_*

“How long has it been?” Lance asked, peering over Pidge’s shoulder.

“About two minutes since the last time you asked,” Pidge replied, not bothering to look at him.

“It’s been too long,” Keith objected. He was leaning on the far wall of the Green Lion’s cockpit, trying to stay out of Hunk’s way as the larger teen squirmed and fitted his bulk around the base of the control panels.

“I know,” Pidge admitted. She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. “But I can’t go in there to get him out. The Black Lion isn’t responding to any of us.”

“Can’t you just shut it down remotely from here?” Lance asked, poking at a button on the panel.

“Stop that!”

“It’s really fascinating,” Hunk piped up from underneath Pidge’s chair. “The Black Lion is in direct communication with our Lions. It’s actually sending suppressing signals through the Green Lion’s control locus to prevent Pidge from shutting down the neuro-enhancer. We can look, but we can’t touch.”

“It can do that?” Keith asked, looking shocked.

Pidge shrugged, “Theoretically it’s not even supposed to know the neuro-enhancer is there. It’s not part of its operating system.”

“So the answer is, once again, we have no idea,” Lance replied breezily. “Hey Hunk, I’m still hungry. Do you have any more of those purple pod thingies?”

“Here yah go.” Hunk dug in a pocket and tossed a smashed, pocket-warmed goo pod up at Lance.

“My man!” Lance crowed in approval, slurping away at his snack.

“Fifteen hours,” Keith muttered from the back wall. “It’s too long, Pidge.”

“I know,” Pidge replied.

*_*_*_*

The multicolored ball of light seemed to shrink in on itself as they went further underground. The weight of the air was crushing, a heavy burden to drag in and out of Shiro’s lungs. He clenched his hand and kept forging downwards. The ghost had warned him that he still had a final test to face. What would come next? 

Shiro knew that he was good at presenting a calm face to the world, even when he was falling apart inside. Staying level-headed for his team was part of what made him a good leader. But somehow, someone knew him well enough to tease out his weakest points: his self-doubt, his rage at the Galra, his trauma as a prisoner. It was as though someone was intimately familiar with the workings of his heart and mind, was reading his very soul. But how?

The little ball of light trembled violently ahead of him, then scurried to hide behind his shoulder. 

Oh hell.

 _"Hello?"_ He called. No point in trying to hide, after all.

_"No, there’s no point at all, I’d say."_

_"That voice, I know you!"_

_"I would hope so, after all this time."_ A deep chuckle filled the air, causing the cave to shudder and bits of stone to drop from the ceiling.

_"Zarkon!"_

_"I suppose I should be impressed that you came so far. Not a bad feat, for a stripling Paladin with no training."_

Shiro thought furiously. With the ball of light hiding behind him, Zarkon was hidden in the cave’s darkness. If he could keep him talking, though, he might be able to triangulate his general location.

 _"Oh, there’s no need for that sort of thing,"_ Zarkon scoffed. An intense purple light blazed up across the cave, searing Shiro’s eyes.

_"You can hear what I think?"_

_"Tiresome little rat. I am at the heart of this Lion. I know everything about you. Your hopes, your fears, every insignificant little detail. You are laid bare before me. Nothing you can think or do will surprise me. And nothing can overpower me. Surrender, little Paladin. Your time has come to an end."_

Shiro’s arm ignited, and he tensed for battle. 

_"Never."_

Zarkon’s mouth twisted into a snarl.

_"So be it."_

*_*_*_*

“Holy quiznack, what’s going on!” yelped Lance. The Green Lion’s control panel erupted in lights and squealing alarms.

“Shiro’s neurological signature just spiked off the charts!” Pidge yelled as she furiously typed commands into the module. “Hunk, I need that bypass and I need it fast!”

“No good,” Hunk wheezed, still squeezed under Pidge’s chair. “Your lion is – OW! – biting me!” Blue arcs of electricity snapped and sizzled under her chair. “OW! Make it stop Pidge!” 

“I’m a little busy!”

“Turn it off!” Keith yelled, gripping the back of her command chair. “It’s frying his brain, you’ve got to turn it off!”

Lance pulled Keith away and slammed him against the far wall. “They can’t, buddy. No one can fix this except Shiro. We have to have faith in him. You know that’s what he’d say if he were here.”

Pidge and Hunk froze, and then looked at Lance incredulously.

“What? I can’t be right sometimes too?”

“Even a stopped clock…” Pidge muttered, turning back to the board.

“Hey, I heard that!”

*_*_*_* 

Shiro dodged energy blasts and struck with all his might at Zarkon’s exposed flank. He had the advantage in dexterity and speed, but Zarkon was also quick, and terrifyingly strong. He shrugged Shiro’s attacks off as though they were nothing.

To make matters worse, the foul air in the cave was leaching the strength out of him with every breath. The harder he fought, the weaker he seemed to get. Shiro’s vision began to swim, and he staggered on his feet when Zarkon rushed him.

He barely managed to dodge Zarkon’s blow, but it left him reeling and off balance. He collapsed against the cave wall, disoriented and weak.

 _"Help,"_ he muttered. 

_"Your ridiculous, rag tag team of Paladins can’t help you now,"_ Zarkon sneered. _"When I destroy you, I will feed on your Quintessence. The next time your pathetic team faces me, perhaps they’ll notice something a little… familiar."_

 _“NO!”_ Shiro shouted, forcing himself away from the wall into another attack.

Zarkon parried his strike easily, and grabbed him by the neck. _"Barely even a challenge. You should have left when you had the chance, weakling. Now your energy will feed only me."_

Shiro gurgled and struggled, kicking his feet as Zarkon lifted him in the air. His vision was blacking out, he struggled one final time to free himself.

Then he was slammed into the ground, and he heard Zarkon screaming in pain. Weakly he raised his head. The multicolored orb had rushed at Zarkon’s face, and was searing his eyes.

Enraged, Zarkon clapped both hands over the little ball, extinguishing its light like a candle flame.

_"Now you are truly alone, Paladin."_

*_*_*_*

“Um… Pidge? What just happened?”

“Keith, I can’t answer that until I get some light to assess the damage.”

“It’s really dark in here.”

“I know that Hunk. Will whoever that is please get off my lap?”

“Sorry, that was me. I just… wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“I’m fine, Lance. Go cuddle with Keith some more. I’ve got work to do.”

*_*_*_*

_"You’re weak. Pathetic. You’re nothing without your team to help you. I will always be stronger, faster, and more powerful than anything you can ever imagine!"_

Shiro took a breath, then another. The little ball of light had given him a second to think, and he was finally beginning to understand.

_"You’re right, Zarkon. You’re massively strong. I can never hope to overpower you. And you’re also right, that my greatest strength is my team. Without them, I’m nothing."_

_"Are you finally surrendering? Come here then, little slave. I’ll devour your Quintessence quickly and spare you the final agony."_

Shiro heaved himself up on his hands and knees. His lifted his head, eyes blazing. _"But what you don’t understand is that there are other ways to be strong. When a storm comes, even the strongest trees can be uprooted. But the grass will bend. In the end, it survives because its weakness is also its strength."_

_"What a tired cliché. I am utterly bored of you."_ Zarkon swung his massive fist downwards, right through Shiro’s form.

_"What is this?"_

Shiro breathed out, allowing his form to dissolve and wisp away. He accepted that he was only a shadow of himself without his team, and now his body was just as insubstantial. The ghosts had shown him how it was done; they’d been preparing him for this all along. He bowed his head in gratitude, and disappeared.

 _"You cannot run from me! I will wait here for you, growing like a cancer at the heart of this-"_

Zarkon gurgled, his words cut off as Shiro’s glowing hand burst through his chest from behind. He stiffened, helpless, as a burst of fuchsia light rippled and burned through his corrupted body. Finally, his enormous form crumpled to the floor and evaporated in a cloud of fumes.

Shiro emerged from the mist. His lip was bleeding, and he limped slowly across the cave floor. He wrapped his left arm around his ribs. A couple were probably cracked, maybe broken? It was hard to tell. What he wouldn’t give for the castle’s regeneration pods right now.

He limped to a halt, and realized that he was completely lost. Zarkon was gone, but so was his little guide. How would he ever find the Black Lion’s heart? Had he come so far, only to fail at the last?

_"Takashi Shirogane."_

Shiro’s eyes widened. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard his full name spoken. The voice was achingly familiar, like a humming at the back of his mind, or a deep rumble in his bones.

_"Shiro. Thank you."_

_"Black Lion? Is that you?"_ Shiro asked. _"Where can I find you?"_

 _"Look inside, Paladin,"_ the lion answered. _"Look to your heart."_

Shiro looked down, and found a deep, golden glow spreading from his heart, across his chest, washing outward to suffuse his entire body. He closed his eyes and relaxed into the warmth as it healed his wounds and illuminated his being. His Quintessence was fusing with the lion’s.

_"You know, I think I could get used to this."_

_"Then welcome, Shiro,"_ the lion’s voice rumbled. _"Welcome home."_

*_*_*_*

“So then you just opened your eyes, and you were back in the cockpit?” Lance asked, poking at the side of Shiro’s head.

“More or less,” Shiro shrugged. “We might have talked for a bit about this and that.”

“Coooool,” breathed Hunk. “Say, maybe I should use that neuro-enhancer and talk to my lion too! I bet it’s got all sorts of great things to say.”

“Maybe we all should,” Pidge agreed. “Your performance readings during training exercises are off the charts, Shiro. The rest of us are lagging way behind.”

“And we don’t even have the ghost of Zarkon-past hiding inside our lions,” Lance seconded. “Should be a snap.”

“Not for mine,” Keith shook his head. “Red’s going to fight me if I try that.”

“They’ll all make you work for it,” Shiro spoke up. “And remember, there’s long term consequences to consider, here.”

“What, the whole eternally bound to your lion thingy? Please,” Lance scoffed. “We were already on board for that, and anything else, when we attacked Zarkon head-on to get Allura back. We got this.”

“Ooh, me first, I wanna go first!” Hunk cheered. 

“Technically, Shiro already-“ Pidge started.

“Yeah yeah, if anyone is going next it’s me,” Lance interrupted.

“You can’t just call that!” Keith rounded on him. “We’ll draw straws or something.”

“You’re just jealous because I got there first.” 

The room erupted in shouts and protests and laughter, and Shiro grinned so hard his face hurt. He truly was home.


End file.
